::every ending has its new beginning::

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Monday, May 29, 2006

NOBODY TOLD ME

Nobody told me that it was gonna be this tough. To be...
The eldest daughter
The elder sister
The middle child
The perfectionist
The volunteer
The listener

The mediator
The supposedly I-know-it-all
The walking constant reminder
The supposedly reliable one

Whilst people around me are having "happy problems", wondering how to save up for marriage, for that car, for that branded bag or what to wear for an engagement party...I'm having a fear in me that...I can't go on anymore. What's on my shoulders right now just gets heavier day by day.

Actually, these stuff are not even my problems in the very beginning. But for the sake of others' happiness, I just can't shun this responsibility. And their happiness, will definitely shine some light in my life.

I wish I could just break free, with no thoughts of worrying or fear. I gotta be mindful that I can't break down in front of them, cos I'm the strong one in their eyes. It's tormenting to feel the pain that others are going through. I'm just trying my best to put up this brilliant performance. It's all a facade...just an act. My lost in battle would be in silence, when the curtains are drawn.

Ya Allah...pls give me all the strength I need and shed some light in their lives. Don't let me hear things I dont wish to hear...

naniz @ 11:17:00 PM

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