Tuesday, December 09, 2008

SACRIFICE

Eid al-Adha, a day to remember the sacrifices made by our Prophets. It got me thinking about sacrifices made by family members, especially my parents.

The sweat, the tears, the pain (physical and emotional)...I dun think I will be able to repay them. Probably, the only things they expect from their children are love and respect. Probably, when I am a parent one day and I go through what they went through...they would just smile and say 'It's not an easy job to do, but someone has to do it.'

Sometimes, the things we said to them (with or w/o realising it) hurts their feelings. Looking back to what I've done or have not done for them, it makes me feel really guilty.

I always tell my youngest bro how lucky he is now. He can get whatever and whenever he wants unlike the rest. We can only buy toys once at the end of the year at Metro store. Most of our toys were either from 'pasar' or 'donated' or found by my dad who has been working part-time at a condominium as a cleaner all his life.

Our flat was a rented flat, until I was 8yrs old. My brothers sold Goreng Pisang, Nasi Lemak and kueh around the neighbourhood. Running for their lives when they see an officer from the ministry.

When I was 12yrs old, my parents were framed and accused of stealing from a religious teacher's daughter-in-law's place. (Who by the way, gave a bounced chq of $60 to my mum who helped them iron clothes while she was pregnant with my youngest bro!)

Till this day, talking about it would make us all teary-eyed. I remembered every detail - the plain-clothed officers knocking on our door while we were all excited abt going to the zoo, watching them ransacking my parents' room and questioning where we got our stuff, watching my parents walk with those filthy arrogant officers...praying hard and thinking I will see them when I get back from the zoo with my aunt.

When I came back, they weren't around. I sat facing the storeroom and cried. I couldnt sleep that night. I just kept hearing the phone ring...my uncles, my elder brothers, etc.

I was 12 but I know who my parents are...that despite being not as well to do as the brainless teacher (my ustazah's daughter in law who accused them), they would NEVER stoop low....that they were gravely blindly accused. Wrong time, wrong place. It doesnt make sense that this family accused my parents whom they know well instead of those outsiders who rent a room from them.

24hrs later, in the late afternoon, my parents came back with my uncle who fetched them from the police station in the west. My mum was crying. My dad was limping and he had blood red eyes. I've never seen him cry.

They were placed in a separate lock-up, full blast aircon. My dad was stripped naked and beaten. He was poured with icy cold water. My pregnant, 42-yr old mum was stripped and asked to squat, to make sure she didn't hide anything. A Malay man came to my mum and shouted in Malay at her 'Lucky thing you are old. If not, these 5 fingers, this hand, would have been on your face! Do you know the consequences of stealing? You are pregnant mind you. You want your child whose in your tummy right now to be a thief like you?!!'

My mum kept quiet, didn't shed a tear, controlling her anger. She's one of the most patient woman I've ever known. She's one firm lady.

It was an unjust case of 'guilty until proven innocent.' My mum heard my dad's cries echoing in the 'cell' just across her.

A policewoman came to my mum and said 'So when are you going to admit?'
Mum: Why should I admit when I didnt do anything wrong?
P: Well, your husband admit he did it. (which my mum found out, she was just lying to get their job done fast)
Mum: Why would my husband admit it when he didnt do anything? If he really did admit, which I dont believe so, then let it be. Cos I wont admit to something I didn't do.

My parents didn't eat. My mum was about to stand up after getting permission to go to the toilet (cos of pregnancy), when she saw my dad being beaten. The sickening officer who was beating my dad shouted at her 'wat r u doing?!' The other officer who was attending to my mum (the only humane officer), said 'Nvm, she's pregnant. She wants to go toilet.'

In the middle of the night, my mum kept awake praying for strength, continuing her zikir religiously. She heard my dad clearing his throat and then trying to sound strong and calm 'Mon, are you asleep? Go and have some rest.'

The next day, the officer simply informed them that they can go home. My strong mum, questioned 'WHY?' Their answer 'Not enough evidence.' What do they think it was? Some fun game, beating up another person and simply just letting go?!!

My uncle has a lawyer friend who mentioned that it was possible for us to sue these animals. But it's gonna cost lots of money. Even though I was 12yrs old, I was not satisfied. I wished I had the money to give them a taste of their own medicine. But my mum said 'It's ok,we leave it to God..those who beat your dad in the lock-up, those who framed us and accused us. God is All Knowing and God is Fair.'

We met them a few mths after in Sentosa and my mum approached them to 'salam' the wife. She arrrogantly said 'I dunno u.' My mum said 'Oh..it's ok.' They nastily called our whole family thiefs and I knew at that moment, they deserve that slap on the face.A slap is nothing compared to the ordeal my parents went through.

Got to know from my uncle's friends, that guy who beat my dad, was fired.

16yrs has passed, but the teacher couple has never come forward to apologise at all. Even though, they knew it wasn't my parents who stole their $$$, computer, jewellery, etc. We are not hard-up...we survived with whatever God gave us. We dont need theirs.

My ustazah (their mum) has never even apologised on their behalf. I remember those times when she pretend not to see us on the streets. But few years ago and just during the Eid prayers, I saw her. She went to me and touched my face, and asked with that guilt and regret in her eyes 'How's your mum?Is she well? Send my regards to her for me will you?'

This is one incident I find it hard to FORGIVE and FORGET. But mum always tell me, there's no point in vengeance.

I couldnt imagine the ordeal, the terrifying thoughts in their minds at that moment....

The least I can do is one fine day, I'm gonna bring my mum to my ustazah's place with that bounced cheque of $60 (which mum still keeps) and give it to them (in their face) and say 'I'm returning you this uncleared cheque. I dont need the $60 you owe me for more than a decade.'

I told my mum that orang yang dianiaya, doanya makbul. Mum said, 'Tau...tapi Allah lebih Mengetahui.' Balas keburukan dengan kebaikan...

This entry was requested by my mum =) She wanted their experience to be a lesson to those who read this entry. Be firm, patient, stay strong. And believe in Him.

naniz @ 11:21:00 PM