Tuesday, May 29, 2007

...ThOuGhTs...

When I was 10, I thought I could see robots and flying cars in year 2000. Thanks to Hollywood movies! When I was 17, I wondered how I would change (physically, mentally, fashion sense, etc) at 27 years old. Then, 10 years seems so far away. But now, each year passes by, as if it was barely a month. I've not changed much. Probably, more rational and mature (although at times, I can still be so irrational, illogical and childish). I remember a Hadith which says that when a day feels like an hour, an hour feels like a minute and a minute feels like a second, that's one of the signs of Qiamah.

I underestimated life and its challenges. I thought being perfect was possible then. And others would follow suit. Matters that I thought were pretty breezy to handle, was in fact a stormy ride. Family, friends, work, fun...sometimes, one element can just clash with another element in life. But Alhamdulillah, I have Him to turn to every single time. Although of course, I pray that each of them (friends and family) do not misunderstand me for my sometimes unintended MIA.

The opportunity to greater heights in career for my friends, seems to be just a small step ahead. I had to take a few big steps. The ride to matrimonial bliss for others seems to be smooth.

Recently (again and again), questions concerning my future were posed to me. That, at times, I get irritated, stressed, embarassed, etc...cos I dunno the answers yet. But I feel bad at times for feeling that way, cos people around me might just be concerned (or overly concerned for a few) about me. Friends who know me well, know I can be easily disturbed by any little comments. (Right?)

"Hey, when will I be getting your invitation card?"
My reply: "My birthday party you meant? It'd be in July."

"When can I get to taste your Nasi Minyak?"
My reply: "My mum cooks Nasi Briyani (if you dun mind) on every Friday at her stall."

As an outsider, I see the wonderful things that happen to others with much envy and prayers for them and myself. GUILTY, for not having the stronger faith that I should have...like I am not thankful for what I've been given by Him. That there are other people who are worse off than me.

Humans are weird (me included)...God has given us such a brilliant gift of life and faith, but most of the time we are still searching for answers like lost souls. Like we are blinded to see the light and taking things for granted. To quote from Yusuf Islam (Cat Stevens) that "There are indications everywhere, the truth might be screaming out, but the noise of daily life makes it difficult to hear....Each day mankind nervously discovers a new secret in the structure of material universe: another clue to the ever-enlarging picture of life; yet another confirmation indicating the existence of Unseen Intelligence behind the intricately mysterious worlds and galaxies he observes."

“Yesterday Has Past”
Don't you feel a change is coming
from another side of time
breaking down the walls of silence
lifting shadows from your mind

Placing back the missing mirrors
that before you couldn't find
filling mysteries of emptiness
that yesterday left behind

And we all know it's better
Yesterday has past now
let's all start the living
for the one that's going to last
And we all know it's better

Yesterday has past now
let's all start the living for
the one that's going to last
Don't you feel the day is coming
that will stay and remain
when your children see the answers
that you saw the same
when the clouds have all gone
there will be no more rain and
the beauty of all things is uncovered again

Don't you feel the day is coming
and it won't be too soon
when the people of the world
can all live in one room
when we shake off the ancient
shake off the ancient chains of our tomb
we will all be born again of the eternal womb

Praying that I will be better today than yesterday, to others and most importantly to Him. May we all be. Amin.

naniz @ 9:27:00 PM